Tag Archives: Christmas

New Years Revelations

Ok, so everyone, and I mean everyone makes New Years promises to themselves, calls them “resolutions”, I call them lame excuses to not do what you should be doing already. Take quitting smoking, you know it’s bad for you, but you do it anyway,, I know I smoked for 20 years and have been smoke free for 10 now,  just quit already, technology and drugs have caught up and it’s easier than ever.. lose some weight, yeah that’s me every year, and this coming year, I am going to lose 41 1/2 pounds,,,, gee why such an abstract number?, because if I round it off to the nearest pound it will never happen, I’ll never reach the goal, it will always be a 1/2 pound off either way..so there’s that..

Find a better job, ok, well I’m already in the works with that, finding another way to provide for my family is always a priority, and even more so because I’m such a late bloomer father figure, ( btw if you live in MO/KS and I can help you with auto home property casualty life ins. needs or know someone that does, I can help DM me),,, ok thanks for the plugging… now on to the “Revelations” portion of this blog prognostication .. I believe that we all have that revelation in us in some sort of way, now whether your a God fearing person as I am or one of the non-believers matters not, we all get that “light bulb” moment on a massive level.

Why just the other day, I had a revelation that wouldn’t it be easier if paint rollers were easier to clean after using them?,( or are you the type that paints the room then tosses the roller when you’re done? ), here’s a cool idea, take your pressure washer (don’t have one, go to the car wash), use it to blow the freakin paint off the roller.. I suggest buying a crappy old broom breaking the broom part off and just using the pole, put the roller on it or have a neighbor hold it and blast away.. not only is it fun, but you get to blast a neighbor (or at least the car wash stall.)

Ohhhhh, you were expecting another “revelation”.. nahh, I look forward to one day at a time,  Seeing the future would just depress me I think, If I can get through today and make tomorrow better then  today thenI’m satisfied, If I can do one thing for one person that makes them remember me then I believe that’s what the Almighty intended. for you non-believers and the agnostic challenged,, well God Bless you too. Merry Christmas and I hope your New Years Revelations come true..

Hey,, why is there fruitcake in the break room.. that’s just wrong

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The ultimate gift in VO

Ok, so most of my ramblings have little to do with Voice Over, but this is the time of year where I’m inundated with the crappiest of craptacular client written,voiced and in some cases produced spots, yes, seriously dudes, I got an email with a spot the “client” did on their IPhone, now granted I’ll give them the *benefit* for using technology to record a commercial, but for the love of all that is Radio and the sanity of the massively talented production pros please just leave this to us, this is what you pay hard earned money to advertise.

Ok, now that I’ve vented, lets move on to the gist of this post.. the ultimate gift in VO. If you ever have the opportunity to use your God given talents to voice something for the blind, narrate an audiobook gratis for benefit of the Veteran who lost his sight in Iraq, Afghanistan or any where for that matter, please consider it. Record PSA’s for The Wounded Warrior Project,, volunteer to read their mail at the VA hospitals. Seriously people, your voice needs to be heard, and it’s not about you, its about what you give back to your communities that will matter the most, not just during the Christmas Season, but all year round.

Now, more of my rant on the craptastic ads that will come into your mail and here’s one that just came into my email.. are you ready?.. Opening line, and I’m not kidding….

HO HO HOLY CRAP ITS CHRISTMAS.. (please read in Santa Voice, and use sleighbell sfx, with reindeer snorts, hoof stomps throughout, also we don’t want “christmasy” music, use something upbeat and less christmasy and more pop sounding, also we don’t want Santa voice to sound fake)

Seriously?

Christmas… again

Once again, this glorious holiday has snuck up on me. How about you?, are your ready for the mega glitz of all the shopping nightmares,, ohhhh, that’s right you braved the idiocy of shopping on Thanksgiving night and B-Friday like the rest of us idiots didn’t you.. Ok, lemme be clear (famous phrase intended), I hate shopping for anything  that doesn’t involve either food, tools or sporting equipment,, ok maybe a new techie gadgety thingy or two, but that’s it,, but this year, I was asked by my soulmate to venture into the great unknown of a holiday shopping black hole and see what I could learn from watching seemingly normal people beat the shit out of each other to save $5 on an Elmo Doll, or whatever the kids want this year..

I was pleasantly surprised to find not only orderly, friendly people in my neighborhood Target’/ToysRU/BabiesRGreat store but I actually “enjoyed” the experience.. now before you yank my Bro Code Card, I was doing research, and research only,, Full disclosure I shop for Christmas gifts on Christmas Eve, just like my dad did and his dad before him.. it’s a genetic traditional trait I will pass along to my sons who will no undoubtedly pass it from generation to generation.. it’s what we do, we’re men..

I hope that this year, when you finally get all the things done, spent, ate whatever you do to justify what seems like an entire years worth of beef jerky money on things for your family and friends you hope that they’ll like and appreciate but probably won’t and it will end up in the basement in box labeled DONATE.. where am I going with this, Oh yeah..

Please won’t you find some time to think about the less fortunate, the homeless, the unemployed, the sick, the elderly, the mentally handicapped and challenged people of your community. Sure, buy the things for the loved ones in your family, but think of these people too,, I suggest that you buy a pair of winter gloves , maybe a scarf, and put it in a small gift bag along with a$10 bill, toss it in the front seat of your car  and the next time you’re sitting at the stop light and the man or woman standing there with that look that seriously will melt paint, you’ll be able to roll your window down and as that warm car air blows outside, you can hand it to them, Wish them a Merry Christmas, and God Bless..

That’s my Christmas Wish this year..how about you?