The Lost Years-Fiction?

I sat on my cot wondering if and when the alarm that buzzed in my head would ever turn off and realized that it wasn’t the one permanently implanted in my brain by the others but that it was my doorbell.  “Who the fuck is ringing me up at 4 in the fucking morning” I wondered aloud, all the while moving slowly toward the point in the wall where it would open and reveal to me the unwelcome visitor.

Let me clarify, I am not from this world, I’m from a point in time where grass was green, sky blue, water palatable and the world was about to be torn into shreds. I was exported through a portal on my 54th birthday at the corner of 18th and Vine in what was known as The Jazz District in a place called Kansas.

Today is my 55th birthday in that time, but in this time I’m 355 years old and don’t look a day over 54 even if I do say so myself.  I am in a prison of sorts, on the dark side of the moon buried some 400 meters into the moons core. I have want or need for food, drink or it seems sleep nowadays. I have lost days, weeks and years wondering why I’m here, why they keep coming to me day in and out. Probing my memories,  asking questions about the time frame, what do they want? I have not seen another human being for what seems to be centuries, only replicates, silently moving about my existence, with questions, always questions and silly as it seems, I answer them in net speak…it confuses them, confounds them, antagonizes them…

“Lolz mang, you totes look too adorbs in your hoodie.. holla at a playa and lets go peep some thirsty twerks and blow a few blunts” I mumble in a voice that parrots the valley mentality of a 17 year old high school drop out  as the panel opens and the droid looks at me with sunken metallic eyes and in that very sexy Siri voice asks me ” Are you having a good day? It’s time for our memory chat”

I heave whats left of whatever is in my stomach on its replicated AirJordans and fall into the soft chair , clear my throat and ask for a glass of water…I’ve completely lost my mind. or am I just dreaming… again



How to be Real

it’s not hard really, be yourself they say, be who you are when you’re talking to your mom, don’t be the douchebag(ette) that people hate, be the person that gets on all fours and barks like a dog for a toddler because its fun, be the person who opens the door for ladies, the elderly, the impaired, the debilitated, the veteran. be the person who doesn’t expect life to be handed to them, you are entitled to breathe, the pursuit of your own happiness, liberty, and if you’re a citizen of my country the right to say what ever you want to whomever you want (within reason of course, don’t be a Dbag). You are not entitled to anything, you have to earn what you deserve. if it means working for minimum wage to feed your kids, do it, if it means sucking up the crap to pay your bills do it, don’t count on others to carry you through life, DO the RIGHT thing. Find a way to help others, pray, live your life, but don’t try to be someone you’re not. *the following is directed at the “A” listers**  Celebrity lasts 15 minutes or less, then it’s just a sad excuse to put your name in a headline, stop please before you hurt someone or yourself. Just be Real.. seriously ppl, lifes too freaking short for it to be anything else

A Thought about audiobooks

As a “newbie” to the audio-book world, I have two titles that I’ve completed, ok, well one actually, but the other is awaiting final approval from the author and ACX. But here’s my point on audio books, and this is especially to authors of audio books.  Your book in written form is NOT the same in audio form, you’d like for it to be, but in a lot of cases it’s not. 

Case in point: I’m in the editing process for my second audio-book 

The title itself is probably way too long, but that’s not my concern here. The concern being the way it is written. The target demographic for the book will be Mensa types and those that are academically advanced. What does that have to do with you?.. Good question, here’s the answer. You are not going to buy this book unless you A) are interested in this philosophy B) extremely well educated and have intimate knowledge of the vocabulary that is used throughout this book.

I cannot tell you how many pickups it took for me to conversationally deliver this sentence structure in a way that someone with at least a 11th grade education could understand and comprehend.. Ready?.. here it is: “

Certainly many things can affect the phenotypic expression of religiosity, the existing religions and how they are faring, what’s going on within the belief community, the society, the governments, where the civilization is in its life cycle and the educational levels, the work ethic, the zeitgeist—the influences are myriad.  And yet, none are as significant as one’s own ….”


this was an easy one, they just get more complex as the book evolves. I guess my rant here is that authors need to write like they speak.. if you speak this way fine, but remember who is on the other end of the story. The listener has to be engaged in the story/documentary, it must be compelling and to do that you have to deliver the content, in this case the “story” in a believable, repeatable context. If I’m at a party and someone asks me what I do for a living and I explain that I’m an audio book narrator, they might want to know what I’ve narrated so that they can get a feel for what I create, if the content is not compelling enough for the listener to remain engaged throughout the entire audio-book then I’ve lost a customer.  

As a narrator, I hope you feel my pain, and can share a story of the same type. I would be interested to know how you delivered the final product, did you suggest to the author that it should be re-worded, or ask if you had creative license to “alter” the text to make it sound more conversational, more natural?.. Love to read your thoughts, leave a comment if you would

Writing to Write

The second I wrote the title to this blog post, I got a warm fuzzy.. I have found that writing not only relieves stress, it helps me work out things in my mind that just cloud and clutter it up.. For instance, I’ve been challenged by a well known radio host in the Kansas City market to lose 50lbs, now while that sounds like a lot of weight, it really isn’t and I’m sure I’ll be up to the task, but that means no sugar, omg, what? no sugar, no pastry, no candy bars, no milkshakes, no cookies, oh for cryin out loud, does this mean no sugar in my coffee or tea?.. yes, yes it does..

Ok, well now I’m ready, I’ve gotten day 2 of no sugar started, and I’m doing well, temptation is a quirky thing, I know where the chocolate is, I just choose not to eat it.. the cravings are incredible, it’s like when I quit smoking 10 years ago, it was brutal the first few months, but I got used to not smelling like shit and I am all the better for it.

The hard part will be the exercise, now I’ve got these cool apps on my phone, one for walking, it counts your steps and berates you if you don’t meet your goals by shocking you with a taser like weapon, how the phone does that is amazing, the second is a 7 minute workout app, that shows you the exercise, the length is 30 seconds for as many as you can do, then it counts down, if you don’t move into the next exercise, it takes a picture of you and posts it anonymously on social interwebs to make fun of you for not being able to do a push up.. I think I’m gonna do just fine, when you get to a certain point in age, you start worrying about crap like this, I mean, for decades I really didn’t give a crap, but now it takes longer to shed the weight than it did when I was in my 20’s and 30’s, and I really really want to lose the moobs

College Degrees, Are they really needed?

So, I’m surfin and every job opportunity I come upon has the following:

“Minimum requirements- Bachelors Degree in yada yada yada” or relevant field of study…. “

Ok, so I’ve got 25+ years in the broadcast industry, and somehow this doesn’t qualify. What irritates the crap outta me is the fact that most of these “college” graduates haven’t a clue how life works yet, it takes literally years of work to know what I know, how I know, how I use it, how I mentor others on how it should be done, tricks and tips to make your jobs easier, the list is freakin endless in my opinion.

 Now let me clarify that not ALL college graduates of the younger generation (20 somethings) are this clueless, most are extremely intelligent people who get it, but for the love of everything that my mom and dad taught me, Employers, when you get their resume’s and they are recent graduates of the University of Whatever, set these in one pile, then look at the resume from the seasoned life professional who has worked diligently, gave 111%, and quite frankly doesn’t care what time happy hour is at the club, I gotta family to support’s resume. You’ll see that she/he has indeed paid their life dues, they get it, they know what’s expected of them from the git go, they will be on time, every time, you can call them anytime if you have a question on a project and I guarantee you they will help you solve your problem.

Now that’s not to say the 20 something that you just hired straight outta the dorm room isn’t going to do a good job for you, heck you probably know their parents right?.. yeah that’s what I thought.. so when this brand spankin new college grad comes to you and say’s, “Umm yeah so I’m gonna need to take off here in a few and meet my bff’s for networking” or ” Listen, I was thinking, I could probably do these TIP Reports from my laptop at home on Mondays and just email them to you”.. then you probably should look at the other pile of resumes on your desk, the ones from folks like me, striving, driving hard to achieve a goal that’s always been top of mind and that’s to achieve this Great American Dream..

I know I can do it I just needed to vent,,  overheard in the hallway by a recent grad and 20 something.. “umm do you know what time is quitting time”..

Sure, I know..,, do you?


New Opportunities?

Oh man where do I start with this, I’ve updated my bazillonth resume’, networked, netfailed, used all kinds of social media to try and find something that will pay me more than the paltry annual salary I am currently at ( don’t get me wrong, its not bad if I was single, but with a family, I’ve got to find a way to make much more).

Hounding friends is out of the question, but should this be the way to find another passion? I am talented, I know it, and I’m not bashful in saying so,, what I do is a very complex thing, it doesn’t pay the bills however and I’ve got to get something that is above the 60k range just to get my head above the fill line. .. lets see here, let me list some things that I can do maybe I can create something out of thin air…

OTR Truck Driver ( I drove 18 wheelers as a young man, could still do that but would involve being away from family)

Consultant.. probably would be a great job, but need capital to keep the $ flowing

Producer (already doing that, that’s why I’m looking)

Voice Talent (ditto)

Talk Radio Host (maybe)

Ditch Digger (done that too as a young man, probably not going to make 60K doing this)

Carpet Technician (again as younger man, knees wouldn’t be able to take that now)

Dry Waller (yes probably could do this)

Tile Installer(ditto)

well,, that’s pretty much it at this writing.. sad isn’t it?.. No offense to the people that already do these jobs listed above, but I’ve come a long way in this communications career and I’ve got to move on into something different if I want to succeed again. I fancy a gig as an Operations Mgr, Communications Mgr, perhaps Chief of Operations at an NPR station.. perhaps….

oooo I know , I know.. a super talented managerial type hero that specializes in creating and developing winning strategies, ideas and information technologies in an uber-tech society of freshly minted college graduates.



We’ve all come to the conclusion that unless you’re motivated to do something, anything there has to be risk/reward right?.. Sure you’re motivated right now to start the new year off in the biggest, best way possible. Make more money, make new contacts, renew old friendships, communicate more openly with your peers….. but what keeps you motivated all throughout the year?,, seriously people, what is it that makes you wake up every day and smile and say this is the day I seize the moment, run with the ball, step outside of the box.. any of these cliche’s working for you?.. yeah I know it’s hard, but I have to believe (and I do, I really do) that a divine spirit is guiding me through this life, God has blessed me with many things, including two beautiful boys and a loving wife, now I need him/her to guide me to my next “BIG” thing.  I need this motivation to guide my spirit, guide my mind, nudge me in the right direction.. What is that nudge?.. dunno, could be a social media ad, could be a new interaction with a stranger, could be idea that sparks out of nowhere ( like the guy who “invented” the swimming pool noodle floaty thingy)… I need this spark to come into my life right now and I need it to help myself, my family, my legacy.. I’ll use my abilities the best I can to find that next “BIG” thing in my life. What motivates you? umm besides chocolate

Wow, just Wow it might just happen for real

Every single new year, I make the same old blah blah blah  resolutions, and this year wasn’t any different, oh I knew well in advance that I wouldn’t keep the obvious ones, but I did know that making and keeping resolutions is really a full time job. Speaking of, I’m always in the market for new opportunities, (currently studying for my P&C license in the insurance industry).. but a friend of mine and I started kicking around the idea of a talk radio show (we’re both music jocks so we’ve been on this merry-go-round for decades) and then I started doing some prep work for a demo to put together in the hopes that maybe my 25 years in the industry would finally develop into something that will pay the bills.

So we’re gonna put this thing together, I’ll post it here and put a poll thingy up and let you decide if we should continue to pursue this ever changing niche’ format of Talk Radio… I will tell you what it’s called up front so you get the jist of it,, GeekRadioKC (follow us on twitter @geekradiokc), my co-anchor Goodman (his real name..maybe) and I will entertain you with our take on everything Geek, whether its tech, sports, pop culture, news, SCIENCE!! or whatever, we’re gonna try and make this as entertaining as we can, our goal is syndication, but we’d be happy making enough to buy diapers and food for our families.. stay tuned ok..


That Time of The Year…again

Keep, trash, keep, trash, the endless cycle of determining what to keep for the new year and what to recycle, throw away or give away. It’s really tough to go through tons of the mental stuff we keep in our brains for what seems like forever isn’t it?

This coming new year, I am going to try something different. If it becomes to hard to maintain, I’ll drop it like its hot.. (lol music refs I’m so lame but seriously ).. this coming new year, I’m going to recycle friendships I’ve made over the years, get in touch with friends that I haven’t spoken to forever ( in some cases decades).

I’m going to throw away bad advice, vibes, ideas that don’t relate to my business at hand, negativity, weight (yeah holiday pounds gotta go).

I’m going to give some advice, more love to my family both extended and close, more of my time to those that need it most, more of my skills that will benefit others, more compassion that I’ve been holding in, more self worth so that I can give myself a chance at succeeding by listening more, listening longer, listening deeper.

Not gonna reinvent the wheel, just going to reinvent me. What are your goals for 2014?

New Years Revelations

Ok, so everyone, and I mean everyone makes New Years promises to themselves, calls them “resolutions”, I call them lame excuses to not do what you should be doing already. Take quitting smoking, you know it’s bad for you, but you do it anyway,, I know I smoked for 20 years and have been smoke free for 10 now,  just quit already, technology and drugs have caught up and it’s easier than ever.. lose some weight, yeah that’s me every year, and this coming year, I am going to lose 41 1/2 pounds,,,, gee why such an abstract number?, because if I round it off to the nearest pound it will never happen, I’ll never reach the goal, it will always be a 1/2 pound off either there’s that..

Find a better job, ok, well I’m already in the works with that, finding another way to provide for my family is always a priority, and even more so because I’m such a late bloomer father figure, ( btw if you live in MO/KS and I can help you with auto home property casualty life ins. needs or know someone that does, I can help DM me),,, ok thanks for the plugging… now on to the “Revelations” portion of this blog prognostication .. I believe that we all have that revelation in us in some sort of way, now whether your a God fearing person as I am or one of the non-believers matters not, we all get that “light bulb” moment on a massive level.

Why just the other day, I had a revelation that wouldn’t it be easier if paint rollers were easier to clean after using them?,( or are you the type that paints the room then tosses the roller when you’re done? ), here’s a cool idea, take your pressure washer (don’t have one, go to the car wash), use it to blow the freakin paint off the roller.. I suggest buying a crappy old broom breaking the broom part off and just using the pole, put the roller on it or have a neighbor hold it and blast away.. not only is it fun, but you get to blast a neighbor (or at least the car wash stall.)

Ohhhhh, you were expecting another “revelation”.. nahh, I look forward to one day at a time,  Seeing the future would just depress me I think, If I can get through today and make tomorrow better then  today thenI’m satisfied, If I can do one thing for one person that makes them remember me then I believe that’s what the Almighty intended. for you non-believers and the agnostic challenged,, well God Bless you too. Merry Christmas and I hope your New Years Revelations come true..

Hey,, why is there fruitcake in the break room.. that’s just wrong